A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS
NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.
THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE BED. IT
WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD." WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE
AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:
DEAR DAD:
IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS. I HAD TO ELOPE
WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU.
I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL
HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES. BUT IT'S NOT ONLY
THE PASSION DAD, SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA SAID THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY
TOGETHER
EVEN THOUGH YOU WON'T CARE FOR HER, AS SHE IS MUCH OLDER THAN I, SHE ALREADY
OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD FOR THE WHOLE
WINTER. SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF
MY DREAMS TOO.
BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE
GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE
AND ECSTASY (woo hoo ) WE WANT. IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A
CURE FOR AIDS SO BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES IT!!
DON'T WORRY DAD; I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR
GRANDCHILDREN .
YOUR SON,
Bill
P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE. I JUST
WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD
THAT'S IN MY DESK, CENTER DRAWER. I LOVE YOU!
Heh. That is funny. I would use that one day, except that I usually get pretty good grades, and I would be afraid to lie to my parents. Not that they would get mad, I just couldn't stand to lie to them.
A couple and there 8 year old were having a christmas party. The kid was in his room and he heard the words "Dick" and "Cock" coming from next door.He went downstairs and asked his mom what dick and cock meant and she said it means coats and jackets. He goes upstairs and watches TV and he hears the words Bastard and Bitch. He goes downstairs and asks his mom again and she says they mean ladies and gentleman. Satisfied, he goes upstairs and walks past the bathroom where his father is shaving. He cuts himself and says SHIT. The boy asks him what shit mean and he says it means shaving cream. He goes downstairs and walks in the kitchen where his mother is making dinner. She cuts herself and says Sex and the boy asks what Sex means and she says it means cutting the turkey. Just then the doorbell rings and the mother tells the boy to answer it. He opens the door and says " Hello Bitches and bastards, can i take your dicks and cocks. My dads upstairs putting shit on his face and my moms in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
![[Cool]](images/smiles/icon_cool.gif "Cool"){kind=icon}
![[Sad]](images/smiles/icon_sad.gif "Sad"){kind=icon}
