I am feeling really down

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:54 am Post subject: I am feeling really down

First of all I am sorry if this is the wrong forum but I didn't know where else that it would be ablke to go. I thought that it might be ok here because it is kinda about emotions.

The best friend that I have ever had in the world hayes me and I can't stand it. We dated for a long time then broke up and a lot of stuff happened. I say that this guy is the best friend that I have ever had for many reasons. I feel like this guy literally saved my life so many times and I am very thankful for that. He is the nicest person I know and I can never forget the many things that he did for me. He has never done anything bad to me and I just can't believe that I hurt him and his family so much. I feel really bad because his family was like a family to me because they are the nicest people that I know.
Last year I had a lot of things going on in my life that he and his mother helped me deal with and I will be forever greatful. When we broke up I said alot of things that I didn't mean because I just had too much on my mind. I really want to apologize to him but I don't know how I can. I am not supose to talk to him because he doesn't want me to but it is driving me nuts not being able to say that I am sorry. I really want us to be friends again because he and his family mean a lot to me. I guess it might be pointless for me to try to apologize but it is just naking me feel really bad. I know that if we became friends again that it would take a long time for him to be able to trust me and stuff andI am ok with that but I hate seeing him everyday at school knowing that he hates me. One of my biggest fears right now is that I will leave the place I live now with him hating me and we will never talk again and he will always hate me. I don't really know why I am posting this but I just need somewhere to say this and if anyone has any suggestions for how I could apolgize(or show him that I am sorry) to him without talking to him it would be really nice. I am really sorry if this doesn't really make that much sense but I just feel really bad. I am scared that he will hate me forever and the thought of that just kills me inside. I don't know what I can do. Any help would be really nice.

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:07 am Post subject:

First of all, I don't know what happened between you two, but it sounds like he can't just hate you after the things you have said after the breakup. People that were so close for a long time can't just "hate" one another in such short time, I think. They can be disappointed, upset or confused or something like that, but those things can be solved.

Second, you'll have to think about yourself and not carry this around for always, so you should tell him this like you wrote you want to. If he ignores you face to face, why don't you write him a letter or email with the same story you tolld us here? He should now about how you feel and maybe it turnes out its not as bad as you think and you could talk this over one time. It must be worth a shot...

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:42 pm Post subject:

I think that is acually hates me beacuse of the way that this school year has been going. I would tell him what I wrote but I am not allowed to talk to him and as far as I know any sort of contact is not really allowed and I just don't really know what to do. I just really hope that we can be friends again someday.

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:09 pm Post subject:

There really seems to be alot of friction between you two right now. Maybe you should both give each other at least a one week well deserved break? Calm down, give eachother some time to think.

After that you could attempt you applogize in a more creative fashion, maybe send him a letter through the mail, telling him everything you feel on paper - and if you guys are truely friends I think theres a good chance he might make contact with you once again, or let you go up to him and start your friendship in a fresh manner.

-Kris

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:43 pm Post subject:

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 10:24 pm Post subject:

We broke up like 4 or 5 months ago and I have given it a lot of time. I can't just gp up to talk to hime because there are some rules against that and I don't want to get in trouble, I just don't know what to do anymore and I feel like crap. As long as he hates me I am not really gping to feel as if I have tried my hardest(I know that sounds stupid but I don't really know) I hope that we will be friends again but the longer this goes on I am thinking more and more that he will hate me forever and I don't know if I could be able to stand that.

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 7:16 am Post subject:

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 3:10 pm Post subject:

I'm not really sure who has imposed the rules you are refering to but my personal suggestion if you are really concerned would be basically what a couple others have already said. Try telling him exactly what you just said to us if you cannot approach him to do so verbally try using the written word and mailing it to him. If you were to that you can clearly express how you feel and apologize in a way that may come across clearer to him and in the end if he chooses not to respond then at least you were given the chance to speak your peace. You cannot make another person forgive you but by speaking your peace you may not have such a heavy heart.

I hope things work out for the best for you.

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 4:38 pm Post subject:

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 5:08 pm Post subject:

Why don't you try asking one of your/his friends to sit him down and explain everything to him. Get them to explain that you didn't mean what you had said and that you really really want to repair your friendship. If after 5 months he still won't listen, then it's not really worth it
Also, if his family still talks to you you could always ask them for advice. They know their son the best, so naturally they'd be the best people to turn to

I really hope it works out for you two. [Very Happy]

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 11:46 pm Post subject:

Yeah, going through his friends or family might work. And I guess, I don't think it should come down to this, but you might have to value you're band trip vs you're friendship with him. ( I hope you don't have to go through that )

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 1:27 am Post subject:

I cant ask his family for hlp because they don't talk to me at all anymore, which makes me think that hate me or somethingI dunno) Because of all of the things that he did for me I would think that repairing our friendship was worth it even if it took years. This guy means a lot to me, he is the best friend that I have ever had and I really miss his friendship. I don't even know if I am going to be able to stay at my school long enough to go on the band trp. I just am soo confused and I don't know what I can do right now.

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 9:20 am Post subject:

Hmm. I think Sarah's idea about sending a letter type thing might be worth a shot. And if you don't think they will open a letter from you, then you could, on the envelope, say it is coming from somebody else who he knows. He would open it probably, and read you're apology. I think it might work, but I'm not completely sure it would be wise to trick him.

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 11:23 pm Post subject:

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 11:25 pm Post subject: