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I want to date again but I am a bit scared.      


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bubba27

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 11:03 pm    
Post subject: I want to date again but I am a bit scared.

The last relationship that I had ended very badly and now I am a bit scared to do it again. My last boyfriend was my best friend before we started to date, and he promised me that we would always be friends, but now he hates me.

This guy that I really like has asked me to go out on a date, I said yes, but now I am really scared about it. We don't have anything planned for the date yet and I am scared to ask him. I know that it is just one date right now but it could turn into a few dates and then a relationship. My biggest fear is losing another friend if I date them. I was just wondering if anyone has any ideas in how to get rid of my fear of dating or I would like to know what others would/have done in a situation like this.





Author Message


Hemsley

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 11:19 pm    
Post subject:

Me too. My last relationship ended pretty bad, and now I have turned out several chances where I could have had a relationship in fear. I know what you're feeling. I think.


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Roman

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 9:07 am    
Post subject:

I think you should do what you think is right [Razz] You now have more knowledge of dating and you know not to make the mistake you made with your other bf maybe this one won't turn out bad?



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Sarah
Moderator of the Month (Amount: 1) Quality Poster (Amount: 1)

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 2:05 pm    
Post subject:

Don't live in the past. You should just get out there again, live your life a little ^_^ Don't let your memories of what happened hold you back



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Robbie
Top Referrer (Amount: 1)

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 9:07 pm    
Post subject:

Sarah wrote:
Don't live in the past. You should just get out there again, live your life a little ^_^ Don't let your memories of what happened hold you back


But it's really good to learn from your past (mistakes or non-mistakes)


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Robbie


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Sarah
Moderator of the Month (Amount: 1) Quality Poster (Amount: 1)

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 9:10 pm    
Post subject:

I never said it wasn't. I just didn't include that because it had already been mentioned



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bubba27

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 11:42 pm    
Post subject:

Robbie wrote:
Sarah wrote:
Don't live in the past. You should just get out there again, live your life a little ^_^ Don't let your memories of what happened hold you back


But it's really good to learn from your past (mistakes or non-mistakes)


I have learned from some of the mistakes that I did make. I am just finding it hard not to live in the past because I am reminded of what happend in my last relationship almost everyday, and I don't want to lose another friend because we went out. Is there anyhting that helps to get over the fear of someone treating you badly after a relationship has ended?



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CanadianSmurf
Donor (Amount: 1) Moderator of the Month (Amount: 1) Quality Poster (Amount: 1)

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 4:19 am    
Post subject:

I could probably pull some half arsed answer out of thin air and claim that is the cure to over coming fear but to be perfectly honest there is no cure. I have been in your postion before and I can relate to that feeling but the best thing I can suggest to you is to just take things slowly and tell yourself that this possible relationship will be different from the last, either in a positive or a negative way. Negative is always scarier but chances are you will learn the most about yourself and the most about what kind of person you do or do not want to be with as for the aspect of losing a friend as harsh as it may sound sometimes you have to take that risk to discover something even more beautiful.

In the end you must decide what is right for you, but to over come that fear you need to face that fear, if you never face it then chances are you will avoid relationships for a long time or could end up in really unhealthy ones.

Just my 2 cents.


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Bariph0niac
Top Referrer (Amount: 1)

Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 5:25 pm    
Post subject:

You shouldn't dwell on bad experiences. Why pass up an oppurtunity to be happy because it may not work out. If it doesn't, end it. The point of dating is not to screw and make out, but to find a partner to spend more time with, and possibly even the rest of you life with. As long as you don't expect too much out of a date, you should be perfectly fine.



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.x!Emily!x.
Top Referrer (Amount: 1)

Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2005 9:27 pm    
Post subject:

I am not really an advice giver but heres my idea. You shouldn't be that scared just enjoy your time and act yourself, maybe thats the reason he likes you and remeber if you need to like dump him stay still friends because friends are not enemies, friends are friends.



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Xx_SoulEdge_xX

Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 10:06 am    
Post subject:

Just be yourself [Very Happy]



Author Message


LOVEHx

Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:53 pm    
Post subject:

The same thing happened to me in the past. One of my best guy friends decided to ask me out but promised no matter what happened we'd ALWAYS be best friends. In the end that didn't happen but the truth is, if your friend isnt willing to forgive and forget for the good of your friendship hes not worth fussing over.

Give the new guy a chance. I know your scared but one bad relationship isn't the end of the world. You'll find love eventually ! [Smile]

- LOVEHx
[Love]



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ctthenerd
Quality Poster (Amount: 1)

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:56 am    
Post subject:

chances are if dating your friend split you guys apart to the point where you hate each other, you probably wouldn't have been friends for long anyways.


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Blacken The Cursed Sun You Are Not The Only One To Have Sunk So Far And Low

Unlocked: Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:51 am by CanadianSmurf

Author Message


LINK1416

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 5:47 pm    
Post subject: Re: I want to date again but I am a bit scared.

bubba27 wrote:
The last relationship that I had ended very badly and now I am a bit scared to do it again. My last boyfriend was my best friend before we started to date, and he promised me that we would always be friends, but now he hates me.

This guy that I really like has asked me to go out on a date, I said yes, but now I am really scared about it. We don't have anything planned for the date yet and I am scared to ask him. I know that it is just one date right now but it could turn into a few dates and then a relationship. My biggest fear is losing another friend if I date them. I was just wondering if anyone has any ideas in how to get rid of my fear of dating or I would like to know what others would/have done in a situation like this.


Well.... is this person i real life? Oo


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